How To Write Stuff Real Good
Never trust a writing “expert”
I had the great misfortune recently to see an enormous volume of bad writing advice passed around in public by bored writers. Trust me, I’ve given plenty of silly, misguided, naive or just plain ridiculous writing advice in my day. After all, I used to be a high school English teacher, back when I had no business teaching anybody anything at all. I was 23, and I really think one ought to be legally prohibited from teaching adolescents until one is 30 and can say ridiculous things like “in my day” whilst gazing into the middle distance and stroking an imaginary wizard’s beard.
I like to think I’ve also given some good writing advice, but it’s only good advice if it is actively solicited, authentically stated, and — perhaps most importantly — effective for the recipient, right? I’m still not sure.
Now, let’s distinguish “writing advice” from a few other things. When I taught my students the basic rules of grammar — rules I shall happily violate within this very essay — I was not giving advice. I was conveying the conventional, accepted norms of written language in a very particular time, place, and society. Some people would expect them to obey those rules at all times. Some people would not care.
